Are You Listening ?
How often do you give the gift of listening ? Do you even know what that means ? It means listening with a quiet mind. Pretty simple really, but so few of us actually do it. I know as I was the most guilty of all. How often have you come out of a conversation and wondered what had been said, or worse, forgotten or not evne heard something in mid-conversation? It’s embarrassing at best and at worst damaging to relationships and maybe business. My guess is most of the time most of us are guilty listening. I get it, some people are really boring, or are they ?
So what happens ?
Well it’s a few things really.
- A lot of us have the ‘i have to be right’ monkey in our head, again I have been guilty. So we are not really listening to the person we are talking to. We’re just waiting for the person to take a breath so we can but in and flex or far superior knowledge ! That’ll teach them for taking a breath !
- Judging. We are listening but really the little voice in our heads is being judge and jury about what is being said. When we walk away from the conversation we have our full opinion formed which we are happy to share with others but strangely not with the person we were talking to!
- We just let our mind wander onto what we are having for dinner or one of a million other things we deem far more important than the person in front of us.
These are just a few, but there are a tonne of others. Are you guilty of any of these or do you have a particular favourite of your own? Comment below I’d love to hear them.
How do we give the gift of listening ?
Let’s take this to bit more of a positive and giving level. How do we give the gift of listening ? Firstly I want to say it truly is a gift to the person you are listening to actually really bloody listen to them. And all you actually have to do is to do it. Drop all of the crap that is going on in your head. Forget being right, Stop thinking about your dinner. Don’t judge and just be there. Listen quietly and intently not waiting for a break and just allowing the other person the space and your time. It take a bit of practice but you will be amazed at what you actually hear. Fortunately is east to start and you don’t even have to tell anyone you are doing it and I will guarantee you one thing. The other person will walk away feeling so much different after actually being heard.
So here is the challenge for you – try it ! Try it out in your next conversation whoever it is. One more thing, to show that person you are truly listening as the right questions. Questions about them and not just questions YOU want to know the answers too. Lastly let me know how you get on in the comment box below.
Have a great day
PS If you have that friend who really needs to read this please feel free to share. Let’s get everyone listening !
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